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Watching the Rangers (spoilers)


Rather than hit you with another set of opinions, I thought it would be amusing to describe the actual watching of the movie.

The mighty GKarsEye spent Saturday evening in his Boston apartment-house with his roommate, Adam, and a couple of people coming and going. The snow was falling outside, and I had come back from an unproductive self-imposed half-day at work. The Rangers was recorded on Tivo while we watched both football games, finishing off with a stirring victory by the Patriots.

By the time we were all set to watch the movie, we were both elated by the sports and buzzed by the Sam Adams and Pete's Wicked Ale.

Adam knows little of B5, whereas I am, of course, a hardcore fan. We were both the primary target audience for this movie.

With Sam Adams in hand, pizza boxes littering the floor, and lights down, the credits roll up on the Rangers movie. Adam remarks, "Now don't cream yourself because it's Babylon 5."

After the first couple of times they said, "We live for the one, we die for the one," Adam asks, "Are they going to say this a lot?" I told him that they probably would. Naturally, this turned into a drinking game. Everytime they live for the one, I get a little drunker. At one point in the movie, one dude is dying and just gets out, "We live for the one..." I declared that this meritted a half-drink. Do you agree, or would you say that it doesn't count at all? I invite you all to play next time you watch.

When Sarah Cantrell jumps into the VR weapons thingy, Adam exclaims, "What the f*** is this, Japanimation?" After going on in typical male fashion about the, ahem, merits of Sarah, this was just too funny. I'm sorry, folks, but this was corny. I dig Miriam Sirois and the character she plays, but watching her flail her limbs about in space awkwardly as if she were suffering from heroin withdrawal had me in hysterics.

I got excited to see G'Kar, and he was cool. The whole "kiss-kiss" line really bothered both of us, though. Again, corny.

Watching Firell made me smile, because the character is so demure, yet we here know she's quite a different gal.

Something that I haven't seen praised yet, though god knows I can't make my way through all of these threads, is the non-spaceship combat. Specifically Martel vs the Minbari and Martel vs Kafta. Both fights looked realistic enough, but still interesting to watch. I was extremely impressed. I am curious- was that Dylan Neal doing all of that stuff, or was it a stunt-double?

By the end, both of us had basically the same opinions. We liked the characters and the story, which is the most important thing. Dulann, in particular was excellent. The captain was possibly the best captain in the first episode of a sci-fi series I've ever seen, second to Picard. Adam didn't like much of the humor, but I think he missed some of the more subtle things, like G'Kar peeking under the robes. He also hated the Swedish meatball line, but he didn't know the reference. However, I've said before that JMS' biggest weakness is humor. It fails as often as it works, and that was true in this movie.

We would both watch Rangers if it comes out as a series.

"You do not make history. You can only hope to survive it."
Wonerfully stated GKarseye! I agree with much of what you have to say. Hopefully we can go to series and show our stuff! Thanks for the compliments. ciao Alex

Wonerfully stated GKarseye! I agree with much of what you have to say. Hopefully we can go to series and show our stuff! Thanks for the compliments. ciao Alex

That was a stunt double, GKarsEye!

I'm not going to go into my night, but let me spell out one particularly horrific scene.


Channe's in the kitchen, humming, cooking brown rice. When the doorbell rings, she sets off for the door with a spring in her step.

She opens the door - there, covered from head to toe with scarves, hats, gloves, and a featherdown parka, is Kate. She brandishes a Risk game box at Channe.

All right, so you finally got me to see this Babylon 5 thing.

Thanks for coming. Dinner's almost ready.

Kate takes a while to take off her outerwear. This is a northern winter, after all.


Kate and a few others are gathered around the dining room table, playing Risk and drinking Corona - and playing quite competitively.

Die, you bastards!

Um. Dinner's served.

Channe comes out with the requisite dinner dishes - steaming hot and beautiful. Channe's made brown rice and spinach look like ambrosia!

The crowd settles down to eat.

So, did you hear about that dude?

What dude?

The dude at the...
(sips her Corona)

Channe suddenly realizes something. Her face becomes priceless.

Channe, are you choking?

CHANNE (deliberately, slowly)
I.. forgot to set the VCR. I'll be back.

Channe saunters away into the other room.

Yeah, well, the dude at the clocktower. The one who got arrested for...

A bloodcurdling SCREAM comes from the other room! Immediately, silverware is slammed down as the houseguests rise, eyes alert.

Channe! What's wrong?

Channe exits the other room. She holds a tape in one hand and carries on her face the look of utter and complete anger.

My. VCR. Is. Broken.

Oh, jeez.

Channe walks towards the apartment door.

Where you goin'?

To the neighbor's.


The apartment hallway, which looks like a cross between a bad dormitory, a Hoyts theater, and a garbage dump. Channe knocks on the door, which opens to reveal a long-haired girl about her age.

Um... can I use your VCR?

Sure. When?

9 to 11, channel 23.

Yeah. I'll program it in. Have a great night.



I didn't go to the chatroom because I was actually out at a Krispy Kreme, discussing why I thought the movie would make a good series...

channe@[url="http://cryoterrace.tripod.com"]cryoterrace[/url] | "I wonder," said Frodo, "but I don't know. And that's the way of a real tale."

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