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The Coming (chapter 3 added)

E

Emfeeli

Regular
The Coming

By Phil aka Emfeeli

Hope you guys like it. It's my first try at a B5 story, so it might have some continuity problems.

All characters in this story are fictional. Babylon 5 and its related characters are trademarks of Warner Brothers. JMS made up Babylon 5, not Phil.

Criticisms and comments wanted!

Takes place mid second season

Chapter 1

Rude Awakening

As Trulann walked through the empty crystal streets, the sun had just began its long trek through the sky. Shielding his ice-blue eyes from the rising sun, he continued through the center of the diamond city, his staff tucked under his leather belt, his polished badge worn proudly on his left chest, and his robe flowing gracefully behind. In front of him, his destination: the stoic temple of Va'shalla rose straight into the sky, seemingly touching the heavens. The light played tricks on the majestic structure, changing its crystalline skin to shades of purples and blues. For twenty-five years, the sight had always managed to stir his soul, and today was no exception. However, on any other day, Trulann would have paused, and bowed, taking time to appreciate...to acknowledge. Today, his demeanor was not that of a normal Minbari; sweat dared to exit his pores, his hearts beat faster, and for the first time in his life, he failed to pause.
The doors opened with a hiss as he entered the structure. Quickening his pace, Trulann ignored several meditation classes, which ensued around him. Several hundred Minbari and Humans sat cross-legged on the cold floor, all in deep trance. The sound of his boots echoed through the massive corridors as he rushed through the passageway. A few trainees, rudely awakened, opened their eyes only to see a robe flow quickly away.
When Trulann finally arrived at his destination he found himself short of breath and his hands trembling. Closing his eyes, he tried to calm his breathing and his nerves. Approaching the massive doors, he whispered his name, and the doors slid smoothly open. In front of him, sunlight poured through the stain-glass windows, the beams falling on the floor of an impressive office, and an equally impressive Ranger. As the man slowly rose, Trulann fell to one knee, and bowed his head. As he spoke, his voice was strong yet compassionate, he features aged, yet timeless.
"What brings you here so early this morning Trulann?"
"Entil'zha, they have come."Trulann's voice clearly trembled.
Ranger One rose from his desk, and clasping his hands behind his back, began to pace.
"It's too early. There must be some mistake...we aren't ready...they aren't ready."
"The first ship entered our space six hours ago. Five relay stations and two space docks have already fallen. It's on its way towards Taralenn II as we speak."
"You've made sure to offer no resistance up to this point?"
"Yes, we've followed the contingency plan. All bases in its way have been evacuated...but Taralenn II..."
"I know...there are too many."
Sinclair looked down at his assistant, his eyes displaying a strange mixture of kindness and worry.
"It makes no sense...why only one ship?"
Sinclair picked a data crystal from atop his desk and gently slid it into a device on the wall. A hologram floated down from the ceiling, displaying a ship as dark as night and as cold as the third moon of Draxis. Swiping his hand through the air, the image disappeared.
"It seems, Trulann, that the Shadows have returned early."
"So it would seem." Trulann answered, as they turned to leave.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Interesting and fluent. I read it in one pass, and seeing the text end actually felt strange. In my subjective opinion, well written. Thanks for sharing. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Chapter 2

Ship of Spies

Side by side, Human and Minbari, Sinclair and Trulann floated through the vast corridors of the temple. In each room they passed, initiates and Rangers alike stopped their training, their meditations, and bowed; each time, Sinclair gave a slight nod in return.
"And the prototype, Trulann?"
"Untested, unmanned, and without jump capability."
"Sounds fun."
"I should think not."

In a chamber, three long miles below the temple of Va'shalla, five Minbari sat and watched the transpiring events. Concealed in a mixture of darkness and secrecy, they huddled around a circular black table, the only light emanating from a spherical hologram rotating above. Monitoring Sinclair's situation above, they began to whisper.
"He is Human."
"Yes, Movekk, we've all noticed."
"The respect they give him...a Human."
Unnoticed by the five, a sixth member stepped out from the shadows. Time had been unkind to him. A war hero, a stogy militant, a relic from the past, Drugann was once a hero among his people. But time washed away all his former glory, and as his reputation fell, Drugann himself plummeted into darkness. Circles such as these have become common place to him. He thrives in paranoia.
"You're all fools. Humans shouldn't concern us right now. It's this prototype that worries me. The Religious cast seeks to build a fleet of these prototypes. It's a call for civil war, a provocation! They believe the Warrior Caste has grown weak...because of this! You've invited this...this uprising upon yourselves. In the past, the Religious cast couldn't even taste this much power. If they dreamt of something like this we'd have quelled them. Your ineptness has brought shame to the Warrior Caste. My Warrior Caste."
Having made his point, Drugann almost joyfully sank back into the blackness. Only a silence as painful as fire remained. Finally, a young Minbari gathered up enough courage to break the hush.
"What can we do?"
"What can you do?" Drugann answered slyly from the darkness.
"Perhaps if we planted a spy on this prototype..." the young Minbari volunteered.
"Perhaps." Drugann responded, as hip blistered lips began to curl to a smile. "But who ever would volunteer?"
Quickly, the young Minbari responded. "It was my suggestion, I will go."
"Then off you go. And do whatever necessary to make sure they fail. With this Sinclair gone, and their only prototype destroyed, the Religious caste may rethink their newfound boldness." Drugann's smile widened.
From somewhere in the blackness, the circle heard a mechanical hiss. Light flooded the room, as Neroon entered. The door closed, and yet again the room was concealed in eternal night.
"I've heard it all Drugann. You're the fool, surrounded by an entourage of fools. You're stuck in the past--a relic. Your incessant ranting does nothing for our people. How do expect us to defeat the Religious Cast if we're all dead? We must wait until after this coming war, let the Religious cast deplete their resources and then--"
"Spare me, young Neroon," Drugann interrupted with a hiss. "You have no power within these circles. Continue your politics and petty bickering."
"Leave us Neroon. Go organize another military parade," another member chuckled.
Neroon slowly turned to leave. The door yet again hissed open. Neroon paused, and turned to the circle.
"You have only written your own fate. I hope for the sake of our people you fail."
And with that, he turned and silently left the chamber to an endless echo of whispers.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Thank you. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

I cannot find even spelling errors, a situation most worrisome for one associated with the Shadow Nitpicking Team. This far, I can only commend your story, although I would like to present constructive criticism. Well... perhaps if the story is longer (which it luckily seems) I still have hope of finding something to criticize.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Thanks Lennier! /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
I wondering if you knew about what time Earth Force began experimenting with shadow tech? (its for chapter 3).

Phil
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Emfeeli, the first time we see EarthForce's usage of ShadowTech on-screen is in the 3rd Season episode "Messages from Earth". Specifically, when the Earth operative merges with the Shadow ship. However, because we know that the Shadows were in league with Earth long before the 3rd Season ("Chrysalis", "Voices of Authority"), you'll be fine if you show some Earth experiments with ShadowTech in your story. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
And only the Lord knows what Earth's NewTechnologies Division has dug up ("Infection", "Messages from Earth").


Alas, the Fanfic Community serves one another.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Chapter 3

Advantage

The luminescent flyer began to gently shake as it peirced its ways through Minbar's upper atmosphere. The flyers nose gently broke through the upper crest of the yellow haze into the coldness of space. Inside, Trulann, Sinclair, and a handful of Rangers needed to crew the prototype, laid in wait. Sinclair stared off into the darkness, unaware of what to expect, and anxious for the coming confrontation. Turning his head to stare out a port hole, his eyes suddendly widened.
"That's it, isn't it Trulann..."
In front of the shuttle, the massive prototype came slowly came into view. Larger and longer than a typical Minbari cruiser, it easily dwarfed the flyer as it began its docking approach.
"The Drugann. A synthesis of Minbari and Vorlon technology, the only of its kind. What we approach is the culmination of over a decades of work."
"You seem proud Trulann."
"I am proud. The Minbari people should be proud."
"Incidently, why The Drugann?"
"He was one of our greatest warriors. We also thought it would appease the Warrior Caste when they finally hear of our undertaking."
"Smart. The first thing they hear when they learn about the fleet is the name of one of their own. They're still going to be pissed."
"We assumed as much."
The Drugann was massive. It maintained a design similliar to that of a Minbari Cruiser yet more fluidic, as if were made from one warped sheet of metal. The hull of The Drugann shimmered in light; it seemed to Sinclair that the outer plating was allmost changing...like it were alive. Sinclair blinked, thinking that perhaps the pressure of his new position had finally gotten to him.
"Trulann, the hull it's..."
"Simi-organic, Entil'zha. We've incorporated Vorlon oranic tech with a new ablative plating developed on Minbar."
"My God. I knew the new prototype was meant to rival the Shadow capital ships but...what does it take to crew something of that size?"
"A recommended crew of eight-hundred."
"Trulann, unless you're seeing things differently than I am, it looks to me like we've got a crew of around twenty here."
"There are over sixty Rangers already on board, Entil'zha. They await out arrival."
"Ten percent of the needed crew, untested systems, no workable jump engine..."
"Fun?"
"No, Trulann, this is no longer fun."
The shuttle began its final preperations, as it entered the mouth of The Drugann. There was hum of docking chamber depressurizing, and finally, the door of the flyer hissed open.
"You lead Trulann."
"To the bridge Entil'zha?"
"To the bridge."
When the two finally reached the bridge, it was already fully manned. Each Ranger bowed his head respectfully as Sinclair past, his flowing robe following gracefully behind. After almost half a year on Minbar, Sinclair still found himself uncomfortable on the bridge of a Minbari ship. He could never get used to the spacious, almost natural feel of Minbari architecture. More and more now, he found himself wishing for some cramped quarters, crowded corridors, and the unorganized feel of metal space station--but he knew where he was needed, and it seemed that sacrifice had become a part of his job description. He slowly took a seat at the captains chair. It stood commandingly in the middle of the bridge, surrounding him, various Minbari and Humans stood valiantly at their posts. Almost like a half a sphere, the walls, pulsing with energy, rose around him until they reached the domed cieling. In front of him, a holo-viewer floated silently down from above. Behind him, Trulann, dutifully stationed at the weapons consel. Sinclair looked around the well lit room. Most of the Rangers were recruits, they looked young and nervous--even the Minbari. Sinclaire turned around to look at Trulann. Calm as usual.
"What's the status of the Shadow vessel."
"We lost contact with a mining station on Ra'afa IV over twenty standard minutes ago. That would place the enemy ship somewhere near the third uninhabitable planet in this system."
"Well then, it sounds like it's time to go. Are we ready Trulann?"
"All stations have checked in, Entil'zha."
"Do we even have enough crew for all stations to check in?"
"No, but the stations which are--"
"Never mind, I don't want to know. Take her out."
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

This could be a very good story if you use the many disadvantages of the Drugann correctly.

Also, you may want want to italicize Drugann because it is a ship.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Thanks. Tell me what your thinking about using the "disadvantages", perhaps I could incorporate them. I could always use some good suggestions. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

The disadvantages are massive: The ship is severly undermanned, has no jumpgate technology, is large, bulky, and is majorly outclassed by Shadow ships.
Luck for you, you didn't mention anything about fighters so you can have some fighters pop out of the Drugann. (It's certainly big enough to hold fighters.)

Adding fighter support against the Shadow ship helps, but as soon as the Shadow ship gets a good shot in on the Drugann a lot of the already skeleton crew are going to be dead or dying.

If the Drugann channels most of its power into weapons (What other systems do they need besides life-support? With no jump engines, they're screwed as it is.) early in the battle and get some of their fighers in gear they may have a chance.

Then there's that whole spy, but assuming the Drugann comes out alive, there won't be much left to sabotage. However, most of my rambling as been based on the idea that the main conflict will be against the Shadow Ship when you could easily make the main conflict finding the spy while he sabotages and kills several of the few Minbari.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

I'll def. be taking the fighter idea. Unfortuneately, Sinclair let the Shadow ship know that the Drugann is a Minbari ship, thats why a fleet hasn't been sent in. If they launched minbari fighters, they'd know. I was also thinking that the shadow ship would be a renegade EA prototype so they'd have a chance...

thoughts?
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

If you have a huge Minbari-Vorlon Prototype ship fight a pussy Hyperion-class or Omega-class Earth Force ship it'd be horribly perportioned. One big ship against a small ship wouldn't be cool, even if the little ship does have Shadow Tech.

I'm all for Sinclair + crew to suffer devastating losses and while the Drugann limps back home they have to catch Drugann's spy who goes sabotaging vital systems.

But, it's your story and you're the author and I've said far too much.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

well, I was thinking the ship would be along the lines of the ship that destroyed the Cerberus...and since the Excalibur had problems with an injured one of those, an unmaned Drugann would have a lot of problems with a fully-functional one...and then the issue of the spy....
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Chapter 4

Engaged

The Drugann ran silently through the coldness of space, engines strained, crew nervous. Bleary eyed, Sinclairs foot tapped anxiously on the sterile bridge floor.
"Give me an update on the engines Trulann."
"They are running at 45 percent efficiency."
"And you're sure that's as high as they'll go?"
"Quite. We have fourteen Rangers working in engineering. Normal requirement is one-hundred."
"Well then. Keep it up. Gun ports?"
"Open and running hot."
"Entill'zha, we are picking something on long range scanners. A distress signal from an outpost near Tarelenn II's second ice-moon."
"The Shadow vessel?"
"I believe so...it seems that it has completely destroyed the outpost and is moving on."
"Engines to max. We've got to cut that bastard off before he gets to Tarelenn II. The second he's in range put him on the main viewer and fire at will. I want to get his attention."
In the engine room, the Vorlon tech pulsed through up through the ceiling giving off a rhythmic, fluorescent yellow glow. There, a young Minbari strays from him post and attaches a small, metallic device underneath a power relay. Fidgeting slightly, he turns unnoticed, and silently leaves the room.
Back on the bridge, the crew expected the worst.
"Trulann..."
"Coming into visual range...now."
It was a ship of pure darkness, a darkness only death knew, and a darkness which respected no life. Colder than the ice-moon it had just passed, the ship was long, with spider-legs curving downwards, as if it could walk on the destruction it had caused, and a pointed, almost birdlike nose. Staring at the projection, dumbfounded, Sinclair gave the order:
"Cute the engines!"
"Entil'zha, are you sure--"
"Now. And bring up the image we have of the Shadow capital ship and compare."
Another image shimmered into view. This one displayed yet another dark ship, yet it differed in many ways from the one, which The Drugann now trailed. The new picture displayed a ship which looked something like a crab, not as long as the other, no noticeable beak or command deck, and several more legs, which were in fact more like spines, which stuck out, not under. The ship was also larger. Larger Sinclair noticed, than even The Drugann.
"Entil'zha, it does not make sense."
"I know. They're two completely different ships. Launch the Vorlon probe."
A hatch opened from the underbelly of The Drugann and the Vorlon probe was launched. Halting in space for a moment, the probe seemed to float in nothingness. Suddenly, the boosters ignited with a blast of liquid heat, and probe was off, trailing the enemy ship.
"Probe launched."
"Well, at least we know something works. Start the engines back up. The second that probe gets within range, begin scanning for any unusual marking or signals it could be transmitting."
"Starting engines--"
Suddenly a massive shock rocked The Drugann. From space, a large explosion forced itself out through the bottom hull of the ship, several crewmembers, sucked out along with the exiting ball of flame. The Drugann shuddered, and then lay lifeless in space. Sinclair was thrown roughly from his seat. Sparks flew from the bridge ceiling, the holographic view-screen flickered and disappeared, and the controls went down, as fires erupted at several stations. Artificial gravity began to fail, and just before the lights flicked out, Sinclair saw, through his blood filled eyes, a dead Ranger, young and Human, float lifelessly by. A glob of blood drifted up next to him and landed silently on his robe.
"Trulann?" Sinclair asked to the darkness.
"I am attempting to restore artificial gravity and life-support."
A few moments later Sinclair fell to the floor with a thud. The lights flickered back on, dimmer than they had been before. He crawled back to his chair, looking out at the carnage surrounding him. Four or five of the original ten, bridge crew, lay dead, much of their blood streaked the floor, the walls and the ceiling. Several bulkheads lay strewn across the now ash-colored bridge. Sinclair had no idea why. He was tired. He was sure his collarbone was broken.
"Entil'zha, engines are down, life-support is barely functional and all weapons are off-line. And now may not be the best time to mention this, but the readings from the Vorlon probe are in."
Sinclair looked up, blood soaked from a gash on his forehead, and decided that whatever Trulann had to say couldn't make things any worse. He nodded for his aide to continue.
"The ship we trail is Earth Force."

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Right. Well I changed the concluded to continued because I realized I couldn't finish it up in one chapter.

I don't know if anyone's still reading, but I'll post the next chapter later today.

Phil
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

I'm still reading, and I'll be watching for the next part. We readers of fan-fic are a small minority, but do not abandon your story because of it. Fan-fiction explores many detours not seen on the golden road.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

Chapter 5

Regroup

Sinclair refused to believe that his people had become so ignorant. He had known that in the past Earth Force had made some shaky deals and maneuvers in the interest of planetary security, but experimenting with Shadow tech--even he couldn't believe that the bureaucrats back home were that stupid.
"The ship is emitting a subspace tracking signal...it is on a distinct Earth Force frequency. It seems your people have been experimenting. An unwise course of action, especially for a culture with such primitive technology."
Sinclair gave Trulann a look, raising an eyebrow in annoyance. Trulann quickly recovered.
"Compared with such advanced bio-technology of course, Entil'zha."
"Those idiots back home must have melded the ship and the host body incorrectly...the ship's gone insane. Give me options Trulann."
"All means of communication are down, Entil'zha. We have no way of reaching the fleet hiding in Hyperspace."
"Damn it! Now that we know the ships not a Shadow vessel, we could have made the call. Hell, we could have called in the entire Minbari fleet. First things first. I want to know where that damned blast came from."
"Engineering--an explosion of unknown origin. All evidence points to a malfunction in a prime conduit...possibly a problem with the bonded Vorlon technology. Engineering was completely destroyed."
"Survivors?" Sinclair asked slowly and painfully, already knowing the answer.
"None in that section. Of the original crew, we have twenty-five Rangers still alive."
"How many know how to pilot a fighter?"
"All. It is basic Ranger training."
"Good. Now that we know it's not a Shadow vessel, we can put some of our modified Minbari fighters to use. How many do we have aboard?"
"Over seventy. However, it is most likely that many were damaged in the explosion. I also doubt they would have much effect on the Earth Force hybrid."
"All we need are twenty-five." Sinclair calmly pressed the blinking com attached to the arm of his seat.
"This is the captain. All hands report to the docking-bays. I repeat, all hands report to the docking-bays."
Sinclair slowly picked himself up from his command seat. He looked around at the most advanced bridge in the fleet--war-scarred and beaten, it reminded him...of himself.
"Time to leave Trulann." "
"I recommend we stay here, Entil'zha. You are injured, and it would be wise to command the Rangers from a safe distance."
"Not this time Trulann, but thank you. I'm not sending anyone else off to die today. I'll go down with them if I have to."
"Very well. I knew you would not listen anyway. The crew awaits."
"Or what's left of them." Sinclair closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked off the bridge, Trulann trailing closely behind.
In a cold, dimly lit corridor somewhere on The Drugann a young Minbari, cloaked in shadow, watched the beaten crew limp to the docking bays. He turned nervously, unnoticed by the remaining crew, slowly making his way to the bridge.
 
Re: Early (a fanfic by Phil...please read!)

The story is interesting and I appreciate seeing it. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
 
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