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Van Helsing

I'm talking about popcorn movies. There are epics like LOTR, but even for popcorn, unplug the brain films, there are good and bad. To me, X1, X2, SPIDERMAN, hell even SW are such films. But the ones above (except the last two SW films) are well done and have characters I like and want to see and care about as well as a great plotline that's fun to watch unfold. There is good summer fair and bad summer fair. VH was icky, bad summer fair.

I want my fun films too, but I still want them made well.

CE
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I can see your point, but I can't really agree...

Is X-Men better than Van Helsing? Probably, but I ejoyed them equally, in different ways...I enjoyed the X-Men in that I related to the characters, and the mutant situation as political metaphor.

I actually didn't like X-2; I thought it was a messy, schizophrenic film that didn't know what it wanted to be. If it DID know what it wanted to be then, IMHO, it failed, unless what it wanted to be was the aforementioned schizo mess.

But I guess that proves the point: this is all subjective. I liked VH as good empty fun, but I hated Bad Boys 2 as vapid, pointless noise. One of my friends loved them both. Another hated them both.

People like different things; Traffic got lots of oscars and 5 stars from virtually every reviewer. I hated it, thought it was badly written, sloppily directed, with paper thin, 2-D, unsympathetic characters, a contrived plot and an overly worthy sense of its own importance.

If I wasn't sitting in the middle of a row, I would have left half way through.

So...people like different things: I think we should all agree to disagree, and not judge each other for having distinct tastes?

VB
 
I'm sorry, I just can't understand this "turning off the brain" thing.

If you're forced to stare at a clock, you can't help but know what time it is. It's in your face, you're not trying to find out the time.

Same with a dumb movie. It's not like I'm looking for something to pick on, but if, from what I understand from this movie, the plot makes no sense even within its own universe, Beckinsale has an outrageous accent, thing blow up that shouldn't blow up, nothing makes sense, the whole thing is over two hours, the dialogue is cheesier than a poorly dubbed kung-fu flick- what's the point of having a movie? How am I supposed to enjoy this?

If it's just about blowing shit up and special effects, why not just have a that? Why bother with dialogue and story in the first place? Current action flicks should follow the same rules as pornography- if the plot only exists to show us cool stuff, then just show us the cool stuff and save us the time and annoyance of sitting through the rest.
 
Well, I wouldn't say it makes no sense at all...

It's a cheesey, OTT world, in which ridiculous things can happen (see Miss Beckinsale's outrageous catch in mid air, while swinging 100s of feet through the air). But it does make sense within itself; it's rules are internally consistent.

Her accent isn't 100% authentic Rom, but I've heard worse. E.g. Michael Caine/Donald Sutherland in "the Eagle has landed"... doesn't mean I wont watch the film. (A childhood favourite of mine).

I really don't understand why, when there is so much wrong in the world, people need to vent their spleens about a movie like this. Jeez. You either like it, or you don't. Some of us do. Some of us don't. Some of us haven't seen it.

Can't we all just...get along?

VB
 
I love to watch empty movies too. But if you're going to make an empty movie, it had better damn well BE an empty movie. I hate it when studios half-assedly throw in "drama" when it doesn't fit. Either make the movie totally empty or do the drama right and make me care about the characters. (or make the drama so cheesy it's entertaining ala "Fast and the Furious")
 
No one's venting spleens. We're just discussing movies.

Frankly, I'm tired of people accusing me of pretention when I don't like a movie because I though it was stupid or has Adam Sandler. I'm not referring to anyone here, just comes up when I talk to people. And I'm not an asshole about it. Just someone will ask, "Did you like Waterboy?" "No." "Why not, it was so funny!" "No, it was retarded." "Oh, so everything has to be Citizen Kane?"

Ugh.
 
Movies are soo subjective to the viewer. I once had a roommate that could not watch a movie if the title sequence had no visuals. If it was just music and credits, he would fast forward through it..even if there was dialogue. He just had to see what was going on. But anyway..I'm just saying that everyone sees something different in all movies. Thats the beauty of them. I love discussing movies with people, even ones who dont agree with me. That's what makes it so fun. I don't get upset if someone doesn't like a movie that I liked. Chances are there are movies I hate that everyone else loves. To each his own. But please, let's keep discussing them. Even if people disagree.
 
A friend of mine can't watch Babylon 5 because of the "bird man," even though he acknowledges that the bits he's seen look like it could be a cool story.

So, yeah, to each his own.
 
No one's venting spleens. We're just discussing movies.

Frankly, I'm tired of people accusing me of pretention when I don't like a movie because I though it was stupid or has Adam Sandler. I'm not referring to anyone here, just comes up when I talk to people. And I'm not an asshole about it. Just someone will ask, "Did you like Waterboy?" "No." "Why not, it was so funny!" "No, it was retarded." "Oh, so everything has to be Citizen Kane?"

Ugh.
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Sorry if I've come across like that: I wasn't trying to (and I realise it's probably not directed at me)...

I agree with you completely there, but I equally don't like being judged/told I shouldn't watch the occasional low-brow brainless film, as if I owe myself better.

Again, not aimed at you, or anyone else directly...

I think the "agreeing to disagree" course would be most prudent.

VB.

PS - I'm dying to know who the "bird man" is...is it Londo, or Kosh?
 
A friend of mine can't watch Babylon 5 because of the "bird man," even though he acknowledges that the bits he's seen look like it could be a cool story.

So, yeah, to each his own.
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Because of "the bird man" ??? So, I guess he saw Kosh briefly out of his encounter suit in The Fall of Night or Kosh and Ulkesh above their encounter suits in War Without End, Part 2, and now he can't enjoy ANY of Babylon 5? That's utterly ridiculous! :eek: Doesn't he know that's what Kosh and Ulkesh were projecting that into the other people's minds, and that's not what they really look like?
 
I agree with you completely there, but I equally don't like being judged/told I shouldn't watch the occasional low-brow brainless film, as if I owe myself better.
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I also enjoy the occasional opportunity to turn my brain off and just enjoy, but to do that, I have to be watching something that draws me into the universe that's being portrayed. Van Helsing just didn't do that. I didn't care about the characters, I found myself watching the effects with detached admiration, and it just didn't satisfy at any level.

For me, it was a failure even as candy floss for the brain. As has been said above, it's possible to make such movies that still draw me in, that entertain at an emotional level, that make me care about the story and characters at least for the length of the movie.

I think Spiderman and X-Men are good examples of such movies. They're not pretending to be intellectually challenging, but they're still damned good movies. For me, one of the best ever examples of that type would be the original 'Jaws' movie. It was entertaining, drew you into the universe and the characters, and it sure did make you jump!

I have to agree with CE here: Van Helsing was a waste of a huge budget that could have been better spent on better directed movies. The actors talents were just wasted on this.
 
The "bird man" is Londo. Sorry, didn't mean to make it a mystery, I just forgot to type that. :)

X-Men is a great example of what an action flick can be. I was so surprised at how good it was. I was convinced that comic book movies couldn't be made well and that I'd never enjoy them except for the first two Superman flicks with Reeve. X-Men to a ridiculous plot, an absurd setting, outrageous characters, and with the right mixture of a story line that actually made some sort of sense in its way, great performances fitting for the style, and just the right amount of self-deprecating humor and cranked out a couple of enjoyable movies.

Spiderman was OK. It crossed a little too far into the stupid realm, but it had heart and I give it a lot of credit.

Jaws is of course a classic. In my book, the film that best represents how to do a stupid fun action movie well is Raiders of the Lost Ark. It completely shits on science, trivialises religion, is full of one absurd circumstance after another, but clever and entertaining. Awesome flick.
 
Sorry, when I hear "bird-man" I think wings.

Penguin (Batman's The Penguin, Burgess Meredith). Haven't thought about that one in a long time. Guess I initially approached Londo without preconceptions, prejudice, and knee-jerk dislike. The closest I came to instantly disliking a character based solely upon appearance, was Durkani and Lyssa in Crusade's Visitors from Down the Street. Yes, the look of the headpiece is "Predator" but the motion of the tendrils is "cheap rubber Halloween mask." Predator, and D'Argo in Farscape were better. Still, after having watched that episode several times recently, it's not bothering me so much.
 
Went to see Van Helsing today. Liked it.

The music was good. Friar Carl was funny, I think David Wenham was having a ball in that role. The weapons were cool, I want one of those automatic crossbows. Particualy liked the bit when he flipped the switch to make it a single shot. The vampires kept making me jump when they appeared upside down. A nice way to spend a Saturday.

Yes, the story is predictable, but then most films are. At least it didn't have a happy, everyone ends up with each other, ending.

We could have done with a bit more drama. A bit more about the guys that Van Helsing works for would have been nice. Plus that stuff about his lost past is mentioned throughout the film, but could have been built on with much greater effect. It was implied, but not clarified that he was the Angel Gabriel or something. A sequal would be a good if it dealt with that period I think. I would like to know how he got to be Van Helsing.

That is really the only gripe, as the film would have worked fine with no mention of lost memories at all. Why put it in if you're not going to use it properly.

I agree with some of the other posters. Cut down on the action sequences, add more talk and you will have a film that is interesting and fun.

Last point. Van Helsing has now joined my list of fantasy characters that I would gladly have rescuing me. ;) The others are Aragorn and Marcus Cole. I sense a similarity here. Someone post some pictures and you will see why.
 
That is really the only gripe, as the film would have worked fine with no mention of lost memories at all. Why put it in if you're not going to use it properly.
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My gut instinct is that they were planting that for the sequel(s). :)

VB
 
Hell, I think we all knew a sequel would happen regardless of the content of this one. Stuff like this SCREAMS sequel.

And having seen it myself, I can say I more or less enjoyed it. Apart from not feeling totally connected to the story and/or not always caring much about what happened to some of the main characters and/or not feeling emotion when I should have perhaps felt it (I DID get a tear in my eye during the beginning B&W part with Frankenstein), anyways.

And, as I phrased it in my own little review (at my board *WINK* *WINK*):

They just crammed so much in to one 132 minute movie. We had Mr. Hyde, the Wolfman... men, Frankenstein's Monster, Frankenstein himself (though only early on), Dracula, Igor (of course... You HAVE to have an Igor if you're going to have a Frankenstein), and... I guess that was really it. But if you think about it, it just seems like the party was a bit overcrowded, so to speak.
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Overcrowded, I say? Indeed. HOWEVER, I frelling loved the first batch of Wolfman stuff. The chase in the forest and everything was just so fast paced and crazy feeling, I couldn't help but enjoy it.

My only major problem was not with the movie, but with the people sitting behind me and my friend. There was a constant buzzing of talk going on throughout most of the movie. By the end, I wanted to brutally dispose of them all with something sharp and pointy.
 
My only major problem was not with the movie, but with the people sitting behind me and my friend. There was a constant buzzing of talk going on throughout most of the movie. By the end, I wanted to brutally dispose of them all with something sharp and pointy.
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This is a definate problem I have frequently in movie theatres these days. People have no etiquette any more. Problem is, you never are sure if you should tell them to be quiet for fear that they might pull a gun and shoot you.

This is why I usually don't go to see Friday and Saturday night movies any more...way too crowded. :rolleyes: :D
 
Problem is, you never are sure if you should tell them to be quiet for fear that they might pull a gun and shoot you.
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Where are you seeing movies, Fallujah? If someone gives you shit, you take it to 'em, what's the problem?
 
Problem is, you never are sure if you should tell them to be quiet for fear that they might pull a gun and shoot you.
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Where are you seeing movies, Fallujah? If someone gives you shit, you take it to 'em, what's the problem?
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Totally agree! I have the good fortune to possess a voice which is rather low for a female, and quite powerful (i.e.loud :))when I choose. During a recent movie when a gaggle of teenage gigglers just wouldn't be quiet I let rip :devil: Total silence for the rest of the movie :D

I have to agree with Shepherd Book from Firefly. There is a special hell for child molesters and people who talk during movies. :devil:

(And yes, for those who have had sense of humour removals, it's a joke. I DO understand that the former is more serious.)
 
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