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The true origins of Religion


Beyond the rim
This is intended as a lighthearted stab due to the serious debate in off topic that took place a couple days ago.

500,000 years ago, the vorlons and shadows were in one of their great wars, and the vorlons chose earth as a military colony, but there was a vast pre-industrial society all over the planet. The Vorlons chose that the only way to not truly interfere with the natural evolution of the humans, was to interfere in the evolution of the humans, and thus they decided to adjust the genetic patterns of the humans, making the Vorlons appear as gods to the young race. In the following 2000 years, there were many battles between the Shadows and the Vorlons on Earth, and the humans witnessed almost every one, seeing what they could only interpret as gods and demons fighting one another, this is where the mythological Greek and roman gods came from. After the war was over, they saw the damage they had done to the people of Earth, and they devised a plan to get the humans back on their natural evolutionary course, or, at least as close as possible. The Vorlons decided that there could be no more than one Vorlon on Earth at a time, and that it could no longer be used as a war colony like it had been by the First Ones 164 ½ million years ago. They then slowly began working out the old pagan religion and replacing it with the monotheistic religion that they themselves once believed in, before they had been shown otherwise, or so they thought, by the Third Space Aliens.

Moses, when he parted the ocean, had a Vorlon within him, that he did not know about, who spoke to him, similar to how Kosh spoke to Sheridan on Z?Ha?Dum, when Moses struck his staff down upon the ocean floor, the Vorlon with in him parted the ocean, to allow the Jews to escape.

Abraham, who gave us the Ten Commandments, and is considered by many to be the father of the monotheistic religion, spoke not to god, but to a Vorlon in the open, who he believed, and was made to believe, that the Vorlon was God.

At this point there hadn?t been a war with the Shadows in around 8000 years, but the Vorlons knew that the Ancient Enemy would return sometime soon, and they believed in a prophecy that a human would come along, be donned the chosen one, and defeat the Shadows for good. They had believed this man to be the one known to us as Jesus Christ, and the Vorlons manipulated him as they manipulated all humans, into believing that he was the son of ?god.? Unfortunately, for the Vorlons, he was mortally injured before they had been able to get him to the point where he would come with them, they came down and paralyzed him on his crucifix, so that it appeared as he had died. When he was entombed, they returned to him, and healed him, making it look as if he had returned from the dead. When he was ?brought up to heaven by his father? as the people of earth, and he himself were made to believe, he was really being pulled up by a tractor beam, into a Vorlon ship, there they examined him in very close detail, and watched as he handled what had been given to him. They decided very quickly that he was not the chosen one, but he would be good to spread the word the vorlons wanted on other worlds, so they adjusted him, and they sent him out to other worlds, to spread the word of ?god? and an orderly way of life. The Vorlons gave him a good life, much longer than he would have lived had he not been influenced by the Vorlons, sadly, in a blaze of glory, he died around 1000 years later, in the last great war against the Shadows.

To this day, all of our religious beliefs (if you have them) are from Vorlons, and so I say:

That's an interesting idea. I'm glad to see this isn't meant to be a serious discussion like the one in the Off Topic section. I don't think I could keep up with two threads like that.
Well Gshans if the inquisition was still around you would be on your way to a marshmallow fire of Bipedal proportions /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
Intersting spin though. It ties in quit nicely with B5 and the old view of "angels" and "demons"!
just trying to have a little fun, and spread a little of my religion: Vorlonism /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
Vorlons believe in Booji, who is a rather comical figure, and really none other than Marcus Cole, after he tried finding Sinclair but accidentally stumbed 5 billion years back in time, from where he was quickly retrieved by Draal, lest consequences be irrepairable.

Ill prepared for his mission, Marcus fulfilled it well. Equipped with nothing but his Ranger attire, fighting staff and a red plastic bucket, he not only survived, but managed to create a highly popular Vorlon religion. /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif

The most remarkable aspect: his knowledge of Vorlon language was limited to the word "zog". It is still unsure whether it means "yes", "no" or both.
one thing, uhh, zog is walker language, not vorlon, though Markas did know the written language of Vorlon, he did not know how to speak it, and was the teacher of the first one, Lorien, who thus passed down the prophecy of the humans to the vorlons /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
I'm wondering though, if Vorlons fiddled about with our evolutionary process, did they have influence over the female gender of the species more so than that of the man. The reason why I ask is because woman have the knack of mixing no up with yes. Yes means no. No means yes and maybe means no. This ,of course, all depends on the circumstances When No does mean no but yes also means no! /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
good question, i'll have to go and ask Kosh about it, depending on if i can catch him before he leaves for Minbar, you may have an answer in a few hours.
Somehow I don't think that evenn the vaunted knowledge of the Vorlons have managed to unravel the mysteries of the fairer sex! /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
he took off just before i could ask him about it, sorry, my long range com systems are down, and he hasn't delivered that whitestar yet, so i can't reach him /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif

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