• The new B5TV.COM is here. We've replaced our 16 year old software with flashy new XenForo install. Registration is open again. Password resets will work again. More info here.

Star Wars prequel bashing


With all the talk lately of how much the prequels sucked I thought I'd post this. I ran across this earlier and thought some of them were hilarious.

It may take a while to read through but it's pretty funny.
This guy certainly needs a life. Or a girlfriend. Why is there no similar Matrix bashing going around? People could go on and on about that too. Instead they spend their time bashing the science fiction version of disney. For god's sake, check out the Ewoks. Or the ridiculous droids at the beginning of A New Hope.
I agree about the Ewoks. As soon as I saw the first one sitting on the log with Leia, I thought, "Oh, no! Not cute teddy bears!?!?!?!" :rolleyes: :mad:

Almost ruined the whole movie (SW:RotJ) for me. Definitely lost any chance of being my favorite.
That was pretty good! And the things about the battle droids made a lot of sense. Why DID they have to talk, among other things?

That's something I hadn't really ever thought about. Not only do they talk but they have ranks, and one of them even uses binoculars! Shouldn't a droid be able to zoom in with its own eyes?
I had the strange sensation of having read the list before. I once encountered a list called "50 Reasons why Jedi Sucks." (Ewoks were reason number one, and also a recurring theme throughout the rest.) Admittedly they had some points, but eventually they were just making up reasons to round out the number and to be funny, not actually critiquing. While I didn't read all the way through these lists, they sounded much the same to me.

Moreover, they completely missed the point on the title "Attack of the Clones." You hear that title, and you think that the clones are going to be the bad guys. Then in the movie they're fighting the good fight -- but they are obviously precursors to the Empire. In other words, the attack of the clones is from a very unexpected direction. An insidious attack, so to speak.

This is yet another example of my theory that the truest strength of the Star Wars prequels is in their subtlety. You may well laugh at a SW movie being subtle, but if you also laugh at the prequels in general, you prove my point. People don't go to see SW movies for their subtlety and subtexts. But that's where the real strengths lie, so people miss them completely and thus consider them to be all bad. For example, I had a friend who somehow managed to completely miss/forget the whole queen/handmaiden swap, which was one of the movie's better points.

Don't get me wrong -- the SW prequels are in dire need of improvement. I need only mention Jar Jar and the love dialogue. But the prequels aren't as uniformly awful as some people make them out to be. They have good points.
I can think of really only one good point.
Let me just say that the original Star Wars was the first movie I ever saw in a theater--age 3, mind.
There's one good point in those prequels...and that's Obi-Wan Kenobi. Period.
He's the only character with charisma in the films thus far.
I think I lean more to why those films suck, than towards good points.
Ah well. There's still one more to go. We'll see how that one turns out!

With regards to the droids, all the stuff listed as a complaint was intentional. Lucas wanted to make the droids appear more human, as though they were budget models filling in for real soliders, using thier weapons and driving their tanks.

I presonally liked that, it gave the droids a quirky feel. i liked the chatting and the ranks. It made them differnet from most hollywood killer robots.
If anything else, it reminded me of 80's cartoons such as Transformers, where the robots all have built in walkie talkies, even though they don;t need them.
The later models in the second movie had intergrated weapons, shields etc.
Hey, I never noticed that. Yeah, in the first movie the droids really aren't soldiers, they're just sort of stand-ins. Scabs. In Episode II there's an obviously more serious upgrade.
The only problem with Obi Wan is that he sits on his @ss all through the last battles of II and then just hops up with a slight limp in the end. You could at least be throwing things at the guy.