GKarsEye
Regular
Because wouldn't "evitable" be the opposite of 'inevitable?"
In honor of our good friend KoshFan and the TV shows that make us happy couch potatos, here's my version using the show that's got me as obsessed about it as Firefly has KoshFan: Deadwood.
Hey, I can't be the only one who finds it difficult to be prouctive on Fridays, right?
Disclaimer for the oversensitive, humorless or fanboys: this is just for fun, blah blah blah. Also only people familiar with Deadwood, Firefly and B5 will get this. So, the both of you, enjoy.
The Leaders (obviously Deadwood has no captain)
Babylon 5- Captain John Sheridan
- disagree with Koshfan and gonna guess that he'd take Reynolds in a fist fight. More experienced and smarter fighter. Though Sinclair might actually be the best because he took out Neroon.
- Best tactician, tied
- Loves oranges
Firefly- Captain Malcolm Reynolds
- Loves apples
Deadwood- Gem Saloon owner and generally scheming son of a bitch Al Swearingen
- Funniest cocksucker of all time
- Sexiest?
- Most complex (various confessional blowjob scenes prove that)
- Best tactician, tied
- Definitely darkest
- Loves whiskey and pussy
All are equally hassled and harried, all experience the loneliness of command, all are rebels against the established authority.
Result: Al edges all. Seriously, how can anyone not love watching this guy?
The love interests: (assuming we mean love interests of the above leaders)
Delenn:
- The most likely to want to bring home to mother
- The only one of the three I can genuinely understand another character falling in love with
- By far the most interesting story arc
Inara:
- Hottest, obviously
- Least likely for me to fall in love with, because it would be impossible to tell if she was being genuine or using her "arts"
- Best lay, 'cause she can fake it, and her upper class clientele probably demand that stuff
isn't it interesting that 2 of the 3 here are prostitutes?
Trixie:
- Stockholm syndrome
- Least confident- believes prostitution is her "place"
- Ultimate survivor.
- Not "graceful," but quick-witted
Delenn is the best female character on TV ever.
The 2nd in command:
Ivanova:
- Most wasted story potential due to her leaving after season 4
- Most ass-kicking (ie, bar fight scene)
Zoe:
- Refuse to make any judgements because they could have done a lot of things with her, so who knows
Dan
- Psycopath
- The others are good with a hint of a darkside. Dan is an awful bastard with one moment of conscious (not killing the child)
Ivanova is the only one of the three that they really did anything with, so she wins
Chief of Security
Garibaldi
- Best detective
- Eager to prove himself
- Funniest
- Works hard to build life with a woman even though he was into someone while away from her
Firefly N/A (there is no "security" role on Firefly)
Seth Bullock
- Reluctant sheriff
- Legendary historical figure
- Psychotic tendencies, extremely violent, repressed due to strict honor and force of will
- Works hard to build life with a woman even though he was into someone while away from her (though at least he fucked Alma)
- Best fighter due to psychopathy
Bullock takes this one easy.
Doctor
Franklin:
- Resident ethicist
- Generally boring character
- Recovered from his questionable past to position of respectability
Simon:
- most judgemental and prudish
- Also pretty boring. redeemed by his relationship to the most potentially interesting aspect of the show, RIver
Cochrane:
- Best acting by far (Brad Dourif, aka Grimer Wormtongue, aka Brother Edward)
- most self-taught
- closest thing Deadwood can come to ethics guy
Cochrane wins easily
Religious figures
G'Kar (season 5)
- Best secular speeches
- Most humble
- Funniest, wisest, wittiest
Book
- mysterious past
- also came to religion after dark past
- scariest looking (just ask River)
The Reverend (forgot his name, the guy who died in season 1)
- best religious sermons
- most pitiful but good-natured
I think my pick for favorite of the three should be pretty obvious
Mysterious McGuffin
Kosh:
- Ultra power
- Ultra arrogant
- Two of them
- Want to punch him
- Represents ultimate power in galaxy
River:
- Potentially awesome power
- Batshit crazy
- Funniest
Walcox (Mr W):
- Psychotic (taste for dry-humping and murdering women)
- Represents ultimate power in the west
Can't make judgement on River because obviously they would have done so much with her, so I'm only going with who I enjoy watching most, and since Kosh is annoying and looks and sound ridiculous and River didn't get interesting enough yet though I'm sure she would be, Mr W wins by default.
Setting
Babylon 5
- Kinda clunky and awkward looking, thus giving it a certain charm, ie, the fact that the fate of the galaxy is decided on a giant blue space vibrator
Firefly
- cool little ship, Millenium Falcon type feel, symbol of personal liberty
Deadwood
- Captivating town
- Feels the most like a real community
- Ugly and crappy and awful and more interesting
Deadwood wins- it's the only place on TV that I can "feel" is real. It's also the only one of the three I would not want to spend time in.
The villains
Shadows
- Most frightening because they are motivated by ideology
Reavers
- silliest (mutated people, big deal)
As for Deadwood- Jesus, take your pick. Tolliver? Walcox? Pretty much everyone who lives in Deadwood?
Sinister authorities
Earthforce as ruled by Clark;
- Orwellian
Alliance
- remeniscient of Star Wars empire
US government politicians and corrupt selfish businessmen
- these are real
So Deadwood wins because let's just say that these are a bit believable
Acting
The cast of Deadwood has become as respected as a 2 yr old TV cast can ever hope to be. Literally every single actor is fascinating to watch. There are no Franklins or Simons, people I don't really care that much about. I want to know everything about everyone, hear every word they say, watch everything they do.
Dialogue
All very different, so no "winner," but my pick is Deadwood simply due to complexity and originality.
B5 has the best monologues, thematic speeches and inspiring talkers. Firefly is delightfully irreverant and quick. Deadwood actually seems to have invented a new way of speaking. And real swearing is way better than that stupid Chinese shit.
Visual stuff
Clearly Firefly is the most "impressive," since it's in space and is newer than B5. Also I do really like the feel of Serenity. But if it has a glossy Western theme, Deadwood is the real western and the care, detail, and historical accuracy is stunning (the biggest complaint about the town is that it's not muddy and shitty enough, which is fine with me).
Deadwood is a dialogue show, so its visual successes are subtle. Firefly has some really great action sequences. Impossible to compare.
Writing (overal)
If we're going with the entirety of the series, than certainly the care and logic and flow of the famous B5 "arc" wins hands down. One thing that all B5 fans say is that every time you watch the series you pick on some new nuances or foreshadows and that is severely impressive for a TV show.
If comparing the first 14 episodes, Deadwood is as fast-moving as Firefly. Both start strong and have not bad episodes, wereas B5 is shaky at times. But while Firefly has some I could identify as better than others, Deadwood is constantly A+ the whole first season (note that HBO series have shorter seasons). Deadwood also is helped by the introduction and death of the historically legendary and wonderful Wild Bill Hickock. Those ignorant of history were probably shocked that who they thought would be the main character of the show was assassinated so early.
As for "intangibles," Babylon 5 trumps all. The emotional weight of the backstory revelations, the way the story just flows from season to season, the political/social timelessness of its themes- this stuff makes it my favorite show of all time because it just sticks in my brain. Firefly is more consistently entertaining but Deadwood blows it out of the water in that front and is a close 2nd favorite of all time for me now (with the caveat that, unlike the other two, there will still be more episodes made, so it has a chance of sucking).
In honor of our good friend KoshFan and the TV shows that make us happy couch potatos, here's my version using the show that's got me as obsessed about it as Firefly has KoshFan: Deadwood.
Hey, I can't be the only one who finds it difficult to be prouctive on Fridays, right?
Disclaimer for the oversensitive, humorless or fanboys: this is just for fun, blah blah blah. Also only people familiar with Deadwood, Firefly and B5 will get this. So, the both of you, enjoy.
The Leaders (obviously Deadwood has no captain)
Babylon 5- Captain John Sheridan
- disagree with Koshfan and gonna guess that he'd take Reynolds in a fist fight. More experienced and smarter fighter. Though Sinclair might actually be the best because he took out Neroon.
- Best tactician, tied
- Loves oranges
Firefly- Captain Malcolm Reynolds
- Loves apples
Deadwood- Gem Saloon owner and generally scheming son of a bitch Al Swearingen
- Funniest cocksucker of all time
- Sexiest?
- Most complex (various confessional blowjob scenes prove that)
- Best tactician, tied
- Definitely darkest
- Loves whiskey and pussy
All are equally hassled and harried, all experience the loneliness of command, all are rebels against the established authority.
Result: Al edges all. Seriously, how can anyone not love watching this guy?
The love interests: (assuming we mean love interests of the above leaders)
Delenn:
- The most likely to want to bring home to mother
- The only one of the three I can genuinely understand another character falling in love with
- By far the most interesting story arc
Inara:
- Hottest, obviously
- Least likely for me to fall in love with, because it would be impossible to tell if she was being genuine or using her "arts"
- Best lay, 'cause she can fake it, and her upper class clientele probably demand that stuff
isn't it interesting that 2 of the 3 here are prostitutes?
Trixie:
- Stockholm syndrome
- Least confident- believes prostitution is her "place"
- Ultimate survivor.
- Not "graceful," but quick-witted
Delenn is the best female character on TV ever.
The 2nd in command:
Ivanova:
- Most wasted story potential due to her leaving after season 4
- Most ass-kicking (ie, bar fight scene)
Zoe:
- Refuse to make any judgements because they could have done a lot of things with her, so who knows
Dan
- Psycopath
- The others are good with a hint of a darkside. Dan is an awful bastard with one moment of conscious (not killing the child)
Ivanova is the only one of the three that they really did anything with, so she wins
Chief of Security
Garibaldi
- Best detective
- Eager to prove himself
- Funniest
- Works hard to build life with a woman even though he was into someone while away from her
Firefly N/A (there is no "security" role on Firefly)
Seth Bullock
- Reluctant sheriff
- Legendary historical figure
- Psychotic tendencies, extremely violent, repressed due to strict honor and force of will
- Works hard to build life with a woman even though he was into someone while away from her (though at least he fucked Alma)
- Best fighter due to psychopathy
Bullock takes this one easy.
Doctor
Franklin:
- Resident ethicist
- Generally boring character
- Recovered from his questionable past to position of respectability
Simon:
- most judgemental and prudish
- Also pretty boring. redeemed by his relationship to the most potentially interesting aspect of the show, RIver
Cochrane:
- Best acting by far (Brad Dourif, aka Grimer Wormtongue, aka Brother Edward)
- most self-taught
- closest thing Deadwood can come to ethics guy
Cochrane wins easily
Religious figures
G'Kar (season 5)
- Best secular speeches
- Most humble
- Funniest, wisest, wittiest
Book
- mysterious past
- also came to religion after dark past
- scariest looking (just ask River)
The Reverend (forgot his name, the guy who died in season 1)
- best religious sermons
- most pitiful but good-natured
I think my pick for favorite of the three should be pretty obvious
Mysterious McGuffin
Kosh:
- Ultra power
- Ultra arrogant
- Two of them
- Want to punch him
- Represents ultimate power in galaxy
River:
- Potentially awesome power
- Batshit crazy
- Funniest
Walcox (Mr W):
- Psychotic (taste for dry-humping and murdering women)
- Represents ultimate power in the west
Can't make judgement on River because obviously they would have done so much with her, so I'm only going with who I enjoy watching most, and since Kosh is annoying and looks and sound ridiculous and River didn't get interesting enough yet though I'm sure she would be, Mr W wins by default.
Setting
Babylon 5
- Kinda clunky and awkward looking, thus giving it a certain charm, ie, the fact that the fate of the galaxy is decided on a giant blue space vibrator
Firefly
- cool little ship, Millenium Falcon type feel, symbol of personal liberty
Deadwood
- Captivating town
- Feels the most like a real community
- Ugly and crappy and awful and more interesting
Deadwood wins- it's the only place on TV that I can "feel" is real. It's also the only one of the three I would not want to spend time in.
The villains
Shadows
- Most frightening because they are motivated by ideology
Reavers
- silliest (mutated people, big deal)
As for Deadwood- Jesus, take your pick. Tolliver? Walcox? Pretty much everyone who lives in Deadwood?
Sinister authorities
Earthforce as ruled by Clark;
- Orwellian
Alliance
- remeniscient of Star Wars empire
US government politicians and corrupt selfish businessmen
- these are real
So Deadwood wins because let's just say that these are a bit believable
Acting
The cast of Deadwood has become as respected as a 2 yr old TV cast can ever hope to be. Literally every single actor is fascinating to watch. There are no Franklins or Simons, people I don't really care that much about. I want to know everything about everyone, hear every word they say, watch everything they do.
Dialogue
All very different, so no "winner," but my pick is Deadwood simply due to complexity and originality.
B5 has the best monologues, thematic speeches and inspiring talkers. Firefly is delightfully irreverant and quick. Deadwood actually seems to have invented a new way of speaking. And real swearing is way better than that stupid Chinese shit.
Visual stuff
Clearly Firefly is the most "impressive," since it's in space and is newer than B5. Also I do really like the feel of Serenity. But if it has a glossy Western theme, Deadwood is the real western and the care, detail, and historical accuracy is stunning (the biggest complaint about the town is that it's not muddy and shitty enough, which is fine with me).
Deadwood is a dialogue show, so its visual successes are subtle. Firefly has some really great action sequences. Impossible to compare.
Writing (overal)
If we're going with the entirety of the series, than certainly the care and logic and flow of the famous B5 "arc" wins hands down. One thing that all B5 fans say is that every time you watch the series you pick on some new nuances or foreshadows and that is severely impressive for a TV show.
If comparing the first 14 episodes, Deadwood is as fast-moving as Firefly. Both start strong and have not bad episodes, wereas B5 is shaky at times. But while Firefly has some I could identify as better than others, Deadwood is constantly A+ the whole first season (note that HBO series have shorter seasons). Deadwood also is helped by the introduction and death of the historically legendary and wonderful Wild Bill Hickock. Those ignorant of history were probably shocked that who they thought would be the main character of the show was assassinated so early.
As for "intangibles," Babylon 5 trumps all. The emotional weight of the backstory revelations, the way the story just flows from season to season, the political/social timelessness of its themes- this stuff makes it my favorite show of all time because it just sticks in my brain. Firefly is more consistently entertaining but Deadwood blows it out of the water in that front and is a close 2nd favorite of all time for me now (with the caveat that, unlike the other two, there will still be more episodes made, so it has a chance of sucking).
