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Spoo. It's whats for Dinner

Cern

Regular
Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

Does anyone have the text file where JMS described in great detail all about Spoo? I have a customer here at work who i am conviced is a large, english speaking Spoo. She's bloated, pasty, and sighs all the time...

And I do have the irresistable urge to Thwack her with a large stick...

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Marcus, "Well They said I was carrying around a lot of repressed anger.
Lennier, "and?"
Marcus, "I'm not repressed anymore."
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

nevermind, found it.

Spoo is/are (the plural of spoo is spoo) small, white, pasty, mealy critters, rather worm-like, and generally regarded as the ugliest animals in the known galaxy by just about every sentient species capable of starflight, with the possible exception of the pak'ma'ra, who would simply recommend a more rigorous program of exercise. They are also generally considered the most delicious food in all of known space, regardless of the individual's biology, almost regardless of species, except for the pak'ma'ra, who like the flavor but generally won't say so simply to be contrary.

Spoo are raised on ranches on worlds with a damp, moist, somewhat chilly climate so that their skin can acquire just the right shade of paleness. Spoo travel in herds, if moving a total of six inches in any given direction in the course of a given year can actually be considered moving. They stay in herds ostensibly for mutual protection, but the reality is that if they weren't propped up against one another, most of them would simply fall down. They do not howl, bark, moo, urr, yap, squeak or speak. Mainly, they sigh. Herds of sighing spoo can reportedly induce unparalleled bouts of depression, which is why most spoo ranchers wear earmuffs even when it's only mildly cold, damp, wet and dreary outside. If there is any life-or-death struggle for ominance within the spoo herd, it has not yet been detected by modern science.

Spoo ranching is one of the least regarded professions known. Little or no skill is required, once you've got a planet with the right climate. You bring in two hundred spoo, plop them down in the middle of your ranch, and go back to the nearby house. Soon you've got more. Then it comes time to cull out the ones ready for market (the softest, mealiest, palest, most forlorn-looking spoo of the pack), little physical effort is required since they're incapable of rapid movement without falling over (see above). They do not resist, fight, or whine; they only sigh more loudly. When spoo harvest time comes, the air is full of the sound of whacking and sighing, whacking and sighing. Even an experienced spoo rancher can only harvest for brief periods of a time, due to the increased volume of sighing, which even the sound of whacking cannot altogether erase. (also see above) Some have simply gone mad.

Spoo are the only creatures of which the Interstellar Animal Rights Protection League says, simply, "Kill 'em."

Fresh spoo (served at an optimum temperature of 62-degrees) is served in cubed sections, so that they bear as little resemblence as possible to the animal from which they have just been sliced. Spoo is usually served alongside a chablis, or a white zinfandel.

Further information on the care, feeding, eating and whacking of spoo can be found in the second edition of the Interstellar Guide to Fine Dining.

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Marcus, "Well They said I was carrying around a lot of repressed anger.
Lennier, "and?"
Marcus, "I'm not repressed anymore."
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh

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Bus
"Authorities say the phony pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and increadibly foul mouth." Kent Brockman
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

And I just ate.
laugh.gif


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Sheridan: Are you trying to cheer me up?
Ivanova: No sir, wouldn't dream of it.
Sheridan: Good, I hate being cheered up. It's depressing.
Ivanova: So in that case we're all going to die horrible, painful, lingering deaths.
Sheridan: Thank you, I feel so much better now.
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

I've eaten some adventurous things in my life, but this made me woozy.
tongue.gif


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"So where does the power come from to see the race to its end? It comes from within."
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

Remember, the Babylon 5 cookbook says that Spoo tastes just like Sea Scallops.
wink.gif





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Yes, I like cats too.
Shall we exchange Recipes?
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

man i can just imagin little things sighing Man it would be like a wild Orgy of slaughter !!!!

man im glad im not eating at the moment lol

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G'kar " No dictator no invader can hold an imprissioned population by force of arms .forever.. there is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom...against that power goverments and tirants and armies Cannot stand... The centuri learned this lession once ... We will teach it to them again... though it take a thousand years... We will be Free!"
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

That definition of Spoo sounds like it came straight out of either the Encyclopaedia Galactica or the Hitchhicker's Guide.

Afterall, Earth is/was mostly harmless.
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, arial">quote:</font><HR>oopS
smile.gif
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I'm embarrassed to admit that I once caused quite an amount of chaos (I hope nobody choked of laughter) by introducing the concept of spoo and spoo ranchers to a certain message board (which shall remain nameless) dedicated to a certain computer game (which shall remain nameless). Oh well - past mistakes are to be learned from - some B5 concepts are too hilarious to be used recklessly.

[This message has been edited by Lennier (edited June 22, 2001).]
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, arial">quote:</font><HR>
That definition of Spoo sounds like it came straight out of either the Encyclopaedia Galactica or the Hitchhicker's Guide.

After all, Earth is/was mostly harmless. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The description of Spoo was JMS answer to a question posted in an online forum. It was totally off the top of the head.



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Yes, I like cats too.
Shall we exchange Recipes?
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

JMS is a funny b@$t@rd.

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Marcus, "Well They said I was carrying around a lot of repressed anger.
Lennier, "and?"
Marcus, "I'm not repressed anymore."
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

I was just messing with my new Official Guide to B5 and I clicked on the BabCom screen and it played G'Kar saying, "Would you like some spoo? It's quite fresh this week!" or something like that.
smile.gif


What was the Narn dish that G'Kar said every species had a version of? "...the Humans call it 'Swiss Steak'.."

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"During a witch hunt, don't get caught wearing a pointy hat."
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, arial">quote:</font><HR>"...the Humans call it 'Swiss Steak'.."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Swedish meatballs, actually. (Oh well, you were on the right continent.
smile.gif
)

The Narn call their version of the dish "breen."

Regards,

Joe

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Joseph DeMartino
Sigh Corps
Pat Tallman Division

joseph-demartino@att.net
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

ROFL served with a white zinfandel...

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"Expect me, when you see me."
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

If you read Casting Shadows you get quite a bit on breen. There should be no crunch, soggy but meaty. Soggy but meaty.

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Bus
"Authorities say the phony pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and increadibly foul mouth." Kent Brockman
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

Soggy but meaty? Too....many jokes.......head......about to....explode!
[KABOOM!]

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A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

Swedish Meatballs! You're absolutely right. I stand corrected...
smile.gif


Oops.

I thought everything was supposed to taste like chicken? Now THAT would have been funny! Every culture having something that tastes like chicken...

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"During a witch hunt, don't get caught wearing a pointy hat."
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, arial">quote:</font><HR> Every culture having something that tastes like chicken...

[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think the Minbari call them Gok...


Uhhh...Spoo lady came in again today...Booji I hate her....

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Marcus, "Well They said I was carrying around a lot of repressed anger.
Lennier, "and?"
Marcus, "I'm not repressed anymore."

[This message has been edited by Cern (edited June 29, 2001).]
 
Re: Spoo. It\'s whats for Dinner

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, arial">quote:</font><HR> I think the Minbari call them Gok... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


No, those are the Minbari Feline equivalent. Another thing the Universe does to keep us from getting too full of ourselves.

Every intelligent race is owned by some sort of Feline equivalent.
cool.gif


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Yes, I like cats too.
Shall we exchange Recipes?
 

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