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**DONOTDELETE**
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Opinions on my silly Lyta\'s fate answer........
A while back someone at the Warner B5 site started the umpteen-thousandth thread asking what Lyta's fate might be. Having heard it all a million times, I decided to make up a silly answer, which I thought was quite funny. Not too many others seemed to agree with me. So I'm asking you more experienced B5 folks, is this funny or what............?
What follows is the true fate of Lyta Alexander. Accept no substitutes!
Lyta arose from the Telepath War, the victorious hero. Using her awesome Vorlon influenced telepathic abilities, she raised Byron from the dead and together they settled down in a large ranch style house in Wyoming where they had twelve children all bearing the firey red hair of their mother and all possessing very high "Psi" levels. All of the children were also quite fond of spouting lines from Shakespear and other British poets with anoying regularity. And only in Byron's presence, of course. For what its worth, all twelve of their children were girls.
Byron, dying for someone to just "kick the ole football around with" commited suicide shortly after the birth if his 12th daughter. He'd been heard mumbling, "This is the one. Oh, yea, baby." for several weeks prior to his death. His suicide note read, in it's entirety, "Twelve. Twelve! F*#k's sake, can't a guy get a break? I'm so sick of that bast^#rd Shakespear I could retch. And what's with all the estrogen? I'm blowing this taco stand. Don't you dare bring me back again, you bi*#h. Piss off!"
Lyta went on to open the most successful Private Investigation service in the history of the entire Galaxy. The name on the door read, "13 Red Headed Chicks named 'Lyta'." And all tvelve were, indeed, named, "Lyta" just as Lyta had insisted, and Lyta could, indeed, be quite persuasive in her ways. Byron mostly slept on the couch those last couple of years of his life. He wasn't even entirely certain numbers eleven and twelve were his, and didn't really care.
Anyway, "Twelve Chicks Named Lyta" made Charley's Angels look like wussies. They could have wiped the floor with T.J. Hooker.
Lyta died at the ripe old age of 93 when a 17 year old cabana boy named Phillepe accidentially managed to find her "pleasure limit."
Sadly several of her older daughters took a shot at Phillepe and died as well. All with smiles cast in a frozen rictor of ecstacy upon their faces. Just like dear old mom.
The P.I. business was never the same after that but the remaining 6 persevered and life went on until we became vorlons and went "over the rim," or something like that.
Jim.
A while back someone at the Warner B5 site started the umpteen-thousandth thread asking what Lyta's fate might be. Having heard it all a million times, I decided to make up a silly answer, which I thought was quite funny. Not too many others seemed to agree with me. So I'm asking you more experienced B5 folks, is this funny or what............?
What follows is the true fate of Lyta Alexander. Accept no substitutes!
Lyta arose from the Telepath War, the victorious hero. Using her awesome Vorlon influenced telepathic abilities, she raised Byron from the dead and together they settled down in a large ranch style house in Wyoming where they had twelve children all bearing the firey red hair of their mother and all possessing very high "Psi" levels. All of the children were also quite fond of spouting lines from Shakespear and other British poets with anoying regularity. And only in Byron's presence, of course. For what its worth, all twelve of their children were girls.
Byron, dying for someone to just "kick the ole football around with" commited suicide shortly after the birth if his 12th daughter. He'd been heard mumbling, "This is the one. Oh, yea, baby." for several weeks prior to his death. His suicide note read, in it's entirety, "Twelve. Twelve! F*#k's sake, can't a guy get a break? I'm so sick of that bast^#rd Shakespear I could retch. And what's with all the estrogen? I'm blowing this taco stand. Don't you dare bring me back again, you bi*#h. Piss off!"
Lyta went on to open the most successful Private Investigation service in the history of the entire Galaxy. The name on the door read, "13 Red Headed Chicks named 'Lyta'." And all tvelve were, indeed, named, "Lyta" just as Lyta had insisted, and Lyta could, indeed, be quite persuasive in her ways. Byron mostly slept on the couch those last couple of years of his life. He wasn't even entirely certain numbers eleven and twelve were his, and didn't really care.
Anyway, "Twelve Chicks Named Lyta" made Charley's Angels look like wussies. They could have wiped the floor with T.J. Hooker.
Lyta died at the ripe old age of 93 when a 17 year old cabana boy named Phillepe accidentially managed to find her "pleasure limit."
Sadly several of her older daughters took a shot at Phillepe and died as well. All with smiles cast in a frozen rictor of ecstacy upon their faces. Just like dear old mom.
The P.I. business was never the same after that but the remaining 6 persevered and life went on until we became vorlons and went "over the rim," or something like that.
Jim.
