SOSB: The War of the Feet

This is the thread where I attempt to post the story that I wrote at Kribu's Lounge. I am still learning the Copy/Paste thing, so I'm not sure how copying it from Kribu's board to this one will work. I will start with trying to copy/paste the introduction paragraph from her board to here and see it I can do it right. If not, I guess I will have to type it from paper, as I did when I put it up at Kribu's Lounge.

This is as promised, my attempt at a humurous story involving those of us that post here. BlackStar's "Alas, Kribu" poem has inspired me to write this. I thought it up all in one day, but it has taken me longer to write it down on paper, and probably longer to type it all in here. I used only the people with the highest post counts here at Kribu's Lounge as characters in the story, so if you don't post much and wonder why you're not in the story, don't whine to me! It revolves around the Happy Narn Salad Bar that is located here at Kribu's Lounge. The SOSB in the title stands for Save Our Salad Bar. I will post it chapter by chapter, starting with chapter 1 and will add each chapter as I have time. Here it goes:


Yay, it worked! Now I will try to post Chapter 1.
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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

[This message has been edited by RW7427 (edited February 02, 2002).]

Chapter 1 In the Beginning

It was just another day in the Happy Narn Salad Bar. RW was tossing himself a salad for dinner. While tossing his salad, RW watched a group of purple wombats do showtunes in the mayo bin. Another wombat sat wimpering at his feet, begging for some pepperoni.

As RW tossed his salad, Oliver his big orange Estonian egg friend came into the bar. Since Oliver could not speak, he telepathically sent a message to his master.

"What is it Oliver?" RW asked.

**Anla'Salad'Shok'Na, we have received information that the ancient enemy The Foot has returned. We believe they may plan to attack the Happy Narn.**

RW gasped and dropped his salad fork, nearly impaling a passing kitten.

"Reow!" cried the kitten and ran off.

The wombat at RW's feet giggled at the cat until RW knocked it aside to step around the table and face Oliver. The wombat sighed and wondered off.

"And so it begins", said RW gravely. "The Foot has returned to Ree'bok. This is a dark day, Oliver. A dark day indeed. We must prepare for their attack. I will rally my trusty Salad Rangers to my side and we will defend the salad bar from the evil clutches of The Foot!"

RW then called a group of wombats together and bade them go bring his Salad Rangers to him. The wombats raced squealing out of the bar, taking a couple of curious cats with them. RW and Oliver then left the bar and went to the war room to start forming a plan.

To be continued........




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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, arial">quote:</font><HR>"The Foot has returned to Ree'bok."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I have to admit that somebody fell off the chair at that point. I am currently trying to imagine what this place might look like.

[This message has been edited by Lennier (edited February 03, 2002).]

And now.....

Chapter 2 The Gathering

**Anla'Salad'Shok'Na. The foot has been sabotaging competitors' salad bars out on the Rim, **Oliver projected into RW's mind. **We have reason to believe that they hate salad and see it as a threat to their plans for the galaxy.**

"The salad bar must be defended, even if I have to nail their feet to tables everywhere, have GK set fire to them, and feed their charred remains to the Pak'ma'ra!" RW said angrily.

As he spoke, the first Salad Ranger came into the room. It was the fair and lovely Narn, Kribu, tossing aside the pink armor that Oliver had handed to her. "I hate pink!" she growled.

"I am at your service Anla'Salad'Shok'Na," she said with a bow. "Summoned, I have come."

RW informed Kribu of the news of the Foot's return to Ree'bok and their plan to confront the ancient enemy.

"Oh good, a Shon'kar", Kribu said happily, drawing her ka'toc. "My ka'toc is drawn for you and I will use it to help defend the salad bar." With that she saluted RW and took a seat at the table.

Next came GK, the pyromaniac. After RW gave him the news and stated that the salad bar must be protected, GK responded with one word.

"Indeed." he said, drawing his ka'toc as well. Then he took a seat next to Kribu. Poking a wombat with his ka'toc by accident, GK said,"Oops, I can't go fulfilling my Shon'kar now, can I?" and tossed the wombat aside.

Next came the crazy Vorlon, Slappy. RW had to reach inside of Slappy's encountersuit and slap him with a large trout because he was busy making pottery.

RW informed Slappy of the news, stating," The bar must run green with Footer blood!"

Slappy responded by happily asking,"Ooh, are we having a Foot bath? May I powder and manicure them too please?" RW just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Next came BlackStar, doing trigonometry with the cow, Susanna Moochenko hanging on his shoulder. In order to get rid of the cow, RW dangled some purple carrots in front of her and threw them across the room. Moochenko mooed with delight, happily rushed after them, and started munching contentedly.

After RW told BlackStar his news, BlackStar looked up from his trig and said," I am at your service, oh Salad Master, as soon as I finish my homework." Then he took a seat next to GK.

And last but not least came EJ, RW's older brother. RW informed his brother of the Foot's return to Ree'bok. EJ responded with a bow.

"I am honored to help you my brother,"he said, "But I must first give the last response to the latest Psycho Game."

"Okay, make it a doozy!" RW implored EJ as his brother sat down at the table across from Kribu.

"OLiver and I have decided that we must form a plan to oppose the Foot", RW said. "But let us rest first for the evening because it is late." The others agreed and they all departed the room to go to bed.

To be continued....

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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

Now for Chapter 3: The Coming of the Feet

It was late in the evening. Everyone was sleeping peacefully. Even all the kittens and wombats were quiet. Little did anyone know that a force of Foot agents had infiltrated the salad bar dressed as Pak'ma'ra janitors and a certain Narn named G'Kar.

Kribu was asleep in her room when suddenly the Foot agents rushed in and grabbed her. She started to call out until she saw the agent dressed as G'Kar, then let out a dreamy sigh and fainted.

The evil Foot soldiers snuck out of the room carrying Kribu and crept out into the bar. One of the Feet steeped on a wombat that had fallen asleep in the hallway after gorging itself on pepperoni. The wombat squealed and ran straight into BlackStar's room, awakening him with it's squeals. BlackStar rushed out into the bar, saw the Foot soldiers running off with Kribu, and ran down the hall shouting, "They've got my wife! They've got my wife!"

The others rushed out into the bar, armed with their weapons and some odor eaters, which Slappy had inside of his encountersuit in case of emergency. They strapped the odor eaters over their faces to protect themselves from the smell and engaged the enemy.

"Fight bravely my Rangers! We must save the fair Kribu!" RW shouted.

The Rangers fought valiantly, especially GK, who had managed to ensare one of the Feet in a set of flaming drapes, but alas, they were not able to save the fair Kribu from the Feet.

RW helped EJ who had been overcome by the Foot odor when his odor eater had fallen off up off the floor.

"Don't worry my Rangers, we will save the fair Kribu! We will track them down and kill them all!" he shouted. "No mercy! No mercy!"

"What are we going to do"? GK asked.

"We will go to Ree'bok!", RW declared.

"If you go to Ree'bok, you will die." Slappy suddenly said. Everyone just looked at him and Moochenko mooed with distress and hid behind RW. "Hey, it sounded good!" Slappy interjected. "Maybe Borien will be there to save us."

RW rolled his eyes at Slappy, then shouted, "Let us be off to Ree'bok!" Then they all shouted in unison,"We live for salad! We die for salad!" and rushed to the spaceport to fly off to Ree'bok to save the fair Kribu and defeat the evil Feet.

Stay tunned for Chapter Four....



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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

I want some of what your having for breakfast!

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"...abso-FRAGGIN-lutely, damn it! I have been studying your use of lauguage since our last discussion. Do you approve?"

Next, chapter 4 Racing Ree'bok

The Rangers rushed to the spaceport where they were met by Oliver and Moochenko.

**Your Whitestars are ready Anla'Salad'Shok'Na.** Oliver reported.

"Good. Thank you my friend," RW said to Oliver and clasped him on the shoulder. "I'm leaving you in charge of the salad bar while we are gone. Make sure the wombats don't eat all the pepperoni."

**Yes, master.**

Suddenly Moochenko rushed to BlackStar and mooed frantically at his feet.

"Have no fear my Cow," BlackStar assured her. "I will be fine. I promise. When I return, I shall feed you the best bunch of purple carrots that I can find."

Moochenko brightened at that news and wandered over to stand next to Oliver.

"Farewell my orange friend," RW said to Oliver. "We shall return with the lovely Kribu before the Hour of Scampering."

**Happy hunting.** returned Oliver.

The companions boarded their Whitestars and flew off on their dangerous mission to the planet Ree'bok. On the way, they formed a plan on how to rescue Kribu.

After they decided on a plan, EJ started a Psycho Game to busy themselves on their journey. It was a long trip to Ree'bok, and they needed something to take their minds off their quest. They knew that danger was ahead, but flew off into it willingly to rescue Kribu and to defeat the foul Feet.

to be continued.....



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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

Chapter Five: Into the Fire of Athlete's Foot

After a time the companions came out of the local jumpgate near Ree'bok. As they came out, they saw a fleet of Foot ships called Battleshoes waiting for them.

"Holy schmoly! Look brother!" EJ warned RW by comlink. "What are we going to do?" he asked.

"We are going to kick their butts of course!" RW linked back. "Let's get 'em boys!"

The valiant Rangers rushed in to confront the evil Foot Battleshoes. The fighting was fierce, with Shoes dropping everywhere.

"GK, Slappy, EJ, give us a wedge. BlackStar and I are going to get the girl!" RW called.

The companions had made a plan to engage the enemy, then RW and BlackStar would break off and make for the planet while the others covered them.

"Yes sir Anla'Salad"Shok'Na," GK linked. "We'll keep those hellions busy while you two get Kribu."

"Thanks my pyro friend," RW linked back to GK, then linked to BlackStar,"You ready Sta?"

"Yes, I'm ready," Sta linked back. "I'll teach those sorry ass losers what happens when they kidnap my wife!"

"Let's make a run for it like a Gok chasing a pair of Temshwee!" RW linked to BlackStar.

"Roger," Sta linked back.

The two raced towards Ree'bok with the sound of Slappy yelling in their links at the enemy, "Take that you pussy Footed odor making sissified losers!"

To be continued....

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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

I'm looking for more character devlopment with my character.

Kill off some people. Just not in excess. Excess is never good.

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"I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate."
blackstar@welivefortheone.b5lr.com

Yes, I agree with Sta. His character, Slappy, is very intriguing and sexy. I think we should have Slappy do a nude scene in which the moonlight reflects of his perfect butt at night, while he enchants all the ladies.

No wonder it's fiction.

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Martin: "I should have brought my gun."
Debi: "What?!"
Martin: "Should be fun!" - Grosse Pointe Blank
Slappy's Solar System!

Thats pretty good RW now give us some more...

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"When it is time, come to this place, call our name, we will be here" -Walkers of Sigma957

Next up, Chapter 6 Passing through Footsemane

RW and BlackStar landed on Ree'bok. After landing, they disguised themselves as traveling shoe salesmen. With this disguise, they were able to pass through the Foot's capital city without anyone taking notice of them until they met a meek-looking man with a mustache and greying hair in the hallway of a building.

"Greetings, gentlemen. My name is Dustin. Is there anything I can help you with?" the man asked.

"Yeah, could you tell us where the dungeons or wherever you people hold prisoners are?" BlackStar asked eagerly.

"Sorry, I wouldn't know, " Dustin answered. "That's not my department."

"What is your department?" BlackStar asked.

"The Hospitality Department, " the man answered, then offered, "Would you like some tea?"

BlackStar angrily shoved the man and said, "Get out of my way or by God I'll shove you out the nearest airlock!" As he shoved him, Dustin grabbed BlackStar's mask and pulled it off by accident.

"Intruders!" Dustin shouted wide-eyed at the two Rangers. "I must go warn the Clogs!"

"Who are they?" BlackStar asked.

"The Police!" the man answered. "They stomp intruders."

Before he could run off to get the Clogs, BlackStar grabbed Dustin and knocked him unconscious.

"What did you do that for?" RW asked. "How are we going to find out where Kribu is?"

"I just now felt her," BlackStar informed him. "I know where she is."

"How?" RW asked. "Is it because you love each other and love is leading you to her? I have heard of that happening before."

"No." BlackStar answered. "It's because I'm a latent telepath and I just felt her. She's nearby."

"You're a teep?" RW asked incredously. "How come you never told me?"

"I never needed to until now," BlackStar replied. "Now, let's go. Follow me. Kribu's down this hallway."

To be continued

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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

hehehehe..."just felt her"
Takes so little to amuse me!!!

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"...abso-FRAGGIN-lutely, damn it! I have been studying your use of lauguage since our last discussion. Do you approve?"

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FlarnChef:
hehehehe..."just felt her"

Takes so little to amuse me!!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Flarny, whatever are you thinking?


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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

Now Chapter 7: Points of Departure

RW and BlackStar strolled down the hallway until they came to a room guarded by two Foot soldiers.

"Kribu's in there," BlackStar pointed.

"How do you know?" RW asked.

I can hear her singing a Rolling Stones tune. Who else here would be doing that?" BlackStar replied.

The two studied the situation until RW said, "I have a plan on how to get her out of there. I'll keep the guards busy, then on my signal, we'll knock them out, grab the keys and unlock the door. Got it?"

"Yeah."

RW walked up to the guards and said, "Greetings gentlefeet. I'm a traveling shoes salesman, and I'd like to interest you in some new shoes."

"We don't need any," one guard said in a grovelly tone.

RW pretended to study them for a moment and then said, "Hmmmm. Well in that case I am also a recreation director. You two look bored. How's about a game of hopscotch?"

The guards' eyes lit up at the mention of the word "hopscotch"
and happily agreed to play. RW drew up the play area and the guards began to hop. RW then gave the signal to BlackStar, who rushed over and punched one guard, knocking him out cold. RW grabbed the other one and pushed him into the wall, banging his head on it and dropped him like a rock.

BlackStar grabbed the keys from one of the guards and unlocked the door to the cell.

"Sta my love!" Kribu shouted and ran to him. "I knew you'd come to save me!"

The two hugged and kissed passionately until RW cleared his throat.

"Get a room you two," he teased.

'We've got one," BlackStar retorted. "Now if you'd go get a Pepsi or something Kribu and I can start making children."

"The heck with that!" Kribu said. "I just want to go back to the salad bar and have some carrots. I like carrots better."

"Well, I'm going through with my plan then," RW announced.

"What's your plan?" Kribu asked.

"Well, you two and the others are going back to the Happy Narn without me," RW informed her. "I'm staying here. I've got a couple of two megaton fusion bombs on my ship. I'll program it to crash into the planet and blow this place to hell. I'll probably end up going to hell with it, but I'm hoping that Borien will be here to bring me back to life like Slappy said he'd do if he was here."

"Okay, have a blast!" Kribu said.

"Tell Borien we said hi," BlackStar said, and with that, he and Kribu left RW there to carry out his plan.

To be continued.....




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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

Children are evil.

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"I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate."
blackstar@welivefortheone.b5lr.com

I was on the bus today, and a very estute observer told me I was tall, and kind of cute. She then demanded my name.

Blasted 12 year olds.

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Martin: "I should have brought my gun."
Debi: "What?!"
Martin: "Should be fun!" - Grosse Pointe Blank
Slappy's Solar System!

So Slappy, does that mean you only attract little girls? Perhaps I should have added an affair with an older woman for you in my story.

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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.

sweet story RW...

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Jump to TygirWulfs lair
"The roots of the future are set in the dreams of the past" me

Thank you my crazy friend. There is more to come.

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Dulann: You don't solve your problems by hitting them.
David Martel: Yeah, well, it made me feel better.