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Old January 28th 14, 02:27   #3
Republibot 3.0
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Re: The Archeology of Dreams

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Originally Posted by Springer View Post
Your upbringing sounds remarkably like JMS'.
Yeah, or Christian Slater from "Heathers."

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Originally Posted by Springer View Post
I didn't move around at all as a child, and probably was happier in childhood that in adulthood. But now when I go back I find that everything has gone, or changed. My first two schools, demolished. My last school virtually rebuilt and I find barely anything to recognise there. The halls of residence that I stayed in for three years at university, pulled down. Even my old house where I spent the first 22 years of my life no longer looks like it used to. People I knew have moved away, I've lost touch with friends, I have myself moved away and home is no longer the place it was 20 years ago.
I'm not by nature a nostalgic person. Mostly I think it's because I have an exceptionally good memory and don't need to be. Everything is still in my head, still real, so I don't need to gaze back. Every once in a while, though, something will trip something truely forgotten in me. Think of it like an oldie on the radio that you hear WAY too much ("Come on Eileen" by Dexie's Midnight RUnners) which has no meaning for you because you hear it so much, compared to an oldie you're startled by because you haven't heard it in decades ("Beat's So Lonely" by Charlie Sexton). When that happens, I sort of ride the buzz for a little bit..

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Originally Posted by Springer View Post
But I find myself wanting to revisit my childhood, and staying fascinated with B5 is a part of that. B5 has ended, but it is still there with me and always will be. As a teenager it helped shape my world view. To be honest, I was quite content with the 5-year story ending. I'm not sure I would want a continuation or a reboot anymore because its essence would't be the show I grew up with. It would be something else.
The paradox is that whereas my old Jr. High School Library threw out old their old books, so I'll *NEVER* be able to identify the cloth-bound 1950s SF I read there back in the day and find copies of it, B5 is exactly the same now as it was when I first met it. So it gives the illusion of permanence when it's as dead as Troy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Springer View Post
One of the things B5 always taught was that nothing stays the same things change, that is the natural order of life. I celebrate what B5 was and what it means to me now and meant to me as a teenager growing up and watching it, attending the conventions and buying the merchandise. B5 is of its time and it is a time that I am fond to remember and grow nostalgic about, but sadly a time that I know I can never truly recapture. So if you can't go back to the past, then look to the future. I think the best way to approach the past is to honour it by building the future that we want and that we deserve, as B5 used to teach us.
Interesting. After a few years of getting beat up, and not being able to figure it out, I started to deliberately emulate people on TV that seemed liked by people on the TV shows. Colonel Hogan, Admiral Nelson, Captain Kirk. Bob Newhart, Secret Agent 86, #6 from The Prisoner, etc. This was just a dumb thing a dumb kid did trying to figure out social codes: making an ersatz personality. But we are what we pretend to be, and eventually those things - aspects of fictional character's behavior - got absorbed into my own self. Eaten by my soul. I got older, I got more secure, I got more socially adept, and I stopped doing it, consciously anyway. But I've still got Kirkisms and Nelsonisms and what not in my personality and behavior and outlook.

I think if I'm honest, Captain Sheridan was the last of them. I was probably right at the end of that window where you try to define who you are, and I think Sheridan was the last 'brick of me' put in place. The last storebought one, anyway. All the others I made myself.
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